There are moments when you have a sudden realisation of a habit or action that you were totally unaware of. Dad of three, John, shares how one Summer he became aware of a blind spot in his parenting …

I think we all want to be the best parents we can possibly be. We start with the experience of how we were raised and try to build on the positive traits of that and try to eliminate the more destructive or unhealthy patterns.

A holiday experience a few summers ago opened my eyes to a blind spot for me in the way that I related to my children and expressed love to them. 

We were on holiday in Majorca, staying in a two-bedroom apartment. We have a boy and two girls – in that order, each two years apart. All three children were sleeping in the same room on this occasion. I went to do my usual nightly routine of tucking them in, giving them a kiss and telling them that I love them … at least I did that with my younger girls! When it came to my son, I sort of ruffled his hair and awkwardly said, “See you in the morning, buddy. Sleep well!”

The next day, my son asked me, “Why do you never do that to me?”

I was totally shocked. Firstly – that he had picked up on my different approach to him compared to his sisters. Secondly – that he actually wanted to be kissed and told that I love him. It was a complete eye-opener for me, and I am so thankful to God that it came to light on that holiday. I’m also grateful that my eight-year-old son felt comfortable to bring this up with me and wanted that change.

I vowed from that night on that I would always give my son a kiss and tell him how much I love him.