Parenting alone during lockdown

Many of us are in totally different situations during lockdown. Some of us are loving the space and time it is giving us with our children, others not so much. Our personalities and circumstances will have a big impact on how we’re coping with everything.

We wanted to encourage those parenting alone at this time, and I asked a friend of mine if she might write a blog. She’s a keyworker and has her two daughters 80% of the time. She’s an amazing woman of God who leans on God so completely. She is honest, kind, calls me out when I’m wrong and loves me through every season. I view her as a great mum and someone I would often turn to for advice.

Here is the message I received in return:

“I could probably do a pretty effective job of telling people what not to do! Honestly, I’d feel like a complete fraud. I feel like the only reason my kids are not massively emotionally scarred already is Jesus. And their dad taking them often enough to keep me just about sane!

Really don’t feel like I excel at being a single mum, less than ever during lockdown. Survive rather than thrive is still where I’m at almost two months after this all started! And that’s with sending my kids to school!

Honestly, there are moments when I feel proud of what I’ve done but they really are moments. The rest of the time, I just feel like a massive failure. So sorry to be so negative, I really think I would do more harm than good.”

I’m pretty sure that many of us have felt like that. There’s a heap of guilt that comes with parenting, and actually there are a lot of mums, dads and carers who feel like this at the moment. Life is hard on everyone, but when you don’t have that outlet, that support structure around you and you’re still trying to raise little ones while working and keeping your head in a good place, it really isn’t easy.

That’s OK. But we’d like to remind you to let go of the guilt. You are most definitely not a failure, and whatever you can manage at the moment is fine. Loving your children in those little moments is what they need more than anything, and what they’ll remember. Nobody ever has it all together, and we all have times where we feel like we’re really not getting the whole parenting thing right!

Reach out to friends, talk and tell them how you’re feeling. It makes a difference. We can be reminded of truth and know that others are feeling the same. And we can pray together, allowing God to carry us when we are weak.

Even in the midst of this difficult season, God wants you to know his unfailing love and peace. Remember that he loves our children more than we ever can. He wants to cover you and your children in the shelter of his wings.

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